The Princess Diatribes

I met Princess a few days after meeting Bonnie. She had found Princess on the street, apparently abandoned, and took her home. It was the same way she found Lucky, but that's another story. Princess was a little ball of white fluff with some black markings. By the time I came into the picture she was full grown and not all that friendly. She'd take a certain amount of petting and would definitely get into a purring mode. But then, in a moment, she could be hissing and headed under the couch or bed, whichever offered quicker shelter from the interloper.

Sometimes she liked to jump up on my lap, but purely at her discretion. If I tried to lift her up, chances are I would get some screeching, accompanied by her wiggling around as she tried to get a shot at meThe Princess DiatribesHer preference was teeth on hand or arm, whichever she could reach Sometimes depending on how firm and safe a grip I had, I might be able to get her to sit still without squirming for a moment, or even a few. But the moment I let up on the grip, whoosh she'd be gone.

She did like when I scratched her on the top and back of her head, as long as it wasn't too hard, and she would vote with a hiss and a leap if I screwed up. And forget about even trying for the belly, as the likely consequence would that she'd get annoyed. In that case she would both grip my hand with all four of her claws and sink in some teeth to make her point The aftermath of those occasions when I'd slip up and forget could be quite consequential, requiring days of multiple bandaids and much salve to recover. My most successful petting location was her neck and throat area She'd lift her chin and press her neck into my scratching fingers and purr away. If only I'd stuck with just that maneuver, I'd have saved myself a lot of scratches.

Sometimes, however, Princess liked to talk. It could be unprompted or because she felt provoked. When the former, she would either walk up to wherever I was, sit herself down and say "eeoowwww", or "arrrrrrrr" and various other cat words. Sometimes, if I answered back, we’d be off into an extensive exchange. Other times it just meant she was hungry. But then there were the times when I’d annoy her, and “Oh boy”, would I get it!

Aside from those instances, there was one other circumstance where I was likely to hear a Princess diatribe. It was at night when I was about to doze off to sleep. I'd feel her jump up on the bed near my feet. She'd sit there for a moment to gage the situation. Then she'd move up toward my head. I'd feel one paw on my chest, and then, in an instance she'd be lying on my chest with her nose in my chin. It would start with an "errrrrrrrr" and go from there. Sometimes I'd find her there in the morning and she'd greet me that way.

The Princess Diatribes - Volume 1
The Princess Diatribes - Volume 2
The Princess Diatribes - Volume 3

When Bonnie, Princess and Lucky moved on, thankfully it wasn't very far away, so I was able to see them all from time to time. But our conversations were never as great as when I'd get one of her genuine "Princess Diatribes."